Get to know us both!
Originally, this blog was meant to be dedicated to men whose partners have a chronic illness. I found, however, that nearly 90% of my visitors are actually women.
They want what’s best for their supportive partner, and want to know what he feels because let’s face it – guys rarely speak up about their feelings, and that impacts their relationships…
Before I started this blog and met M, I accomplished 5 years of medical school and became a certified paramedic doing long 12-hour shifts. I worked in Poland, where I originally come from.
However, after moving to London, UK, my job became really stressful and dangerous. I decided to become a medical carer for disabled young adults working 50 hours per week.
I always loved helping people, it’s in my nature. After meeting M, these feelings became even stronger and gained additional meaning.
After learning her story, I realized, that she went through a lot of trauma in life. It made me realize that women are NOT being treated fairly!
That day, I became very passionate about making a change in their lives.
I started writing on an impulse seeing the love of my life struggle with her thoughts. I began to scribble a series of daily notes to capture my own feelings.
At the time, my wife suffered from severe depression, which nearly cost her life. I supported M during her recovery from suicidal attempts. I wanted to be near, she was extremely fragile!
After collecting enough notes, I wrote a book about us called “No amount of anxiety will push me away”, which never ended up being published…
My wife not only went through mental health problems in her childhood and early adolescence, but she also experienced a lot of physical struggles.
M suffered a lot of physical symptoms and pain she could never find a reason for. It took 5 to 6 years before she was diagnosed with stage IV deep infiltrating endometriosis and fibromyalgia. Naturally, both conditions impacted her mental health!
I’d like you to get to know my wife a little bit. She contributes to Worry Head whenever she has a good day. It isn’t often, but her point of view gives a very nice touch to this blog...
Hi, I am Lucian’s wife and a long-term sufferer of anxiety and depression.
At the age of 44, I also found out that I suffer from endometriosis, which has taken years to diagnose. The following year, I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
My experience of suffering from anxiety and depression goes back to my childhood and teenage years. I was often bullied throughout my school life, and my family life was also very volatile.
I believe these were the triggers that set off my anxiety and depression.
In my teenage years, I suffered from anorexia, bulimia, and OCD and was never referred for the correct talking therapies to help me.
I was just prescribed Prozac and told I had a chemical imbalance in my brain and would probably have to take them for life!
I managed to maintain jobs and get on with life, but I still had episodes of anxiety and depression which slowed me down in life and stopped me from achieving my goals.
So the Prozac never really worked because I had never been offered help to deal with the root reasons for my anxiety and depression.
It was only in recent years when I came off the drug that I was finally given some help and referred for CBT, and although it has been a struggle, I believe this, along with support and understanding from my husband, has helped me more than any drug could.
However, we are all different and for some people trying an antidepressant short-term along with CBT often helps. I just don’t believe antidepressants are a long-term solution to those suffering from anxiety and depression.
This is not to say that they might be needed for more complex mental health problems. No doubt fighting anxiety and depression is a hard slog even with the right therapy.
The therapy itself is hard work because it forces you to be honest with yourself, to open yourself up, and to uncover things from the past that you may want to forget and never dealt with before.
At times it can be overwhelming and this is when support from partners, friends, family, and social support networks is most important!
Our dance career…
This is a short story of a couple of dances turned bloggers, whose lives were turned upside down after an unfortunate chain of events.
We’ve met in 2007, on the dance floor. We danced professionally for a decade, but somewhere along the way life happened, and M became severely ill. Our lives drastically changed after we got married in 2012.
M suffered a neck injury during dance practice with one of her students. As time went by, my wife experienced a few more injuries over the period of a year and a half in the pelvic area of her body. At the same time, she also experienced some pain in her lower abdomen during ovulation and heavier than usual periods.
All led her to private physiotherapy and a long road to recovery, during which M lost her full-time job as a dancer, and began working as a part-time medical secretary.
After a few years of doing a job that she did not like, the sense of loss of working doing something she once loved, and unexplained symptoms that began to appear more frequent, M began to feel anxious and severely depressed.
Her depression took a darker shade when my wife began to feel guilt and tried to commit suicide. Luckily, I was present at the time…
But I couldn’t stand to watch all of this and took 2 months of work to support her. I made her feel safe and wanted. But it was M, who did the hard part. She gave up antidepressants she’s been taking for 18 years! Her bravery and strong will to fight made her feel better.
During my stay off work, I began to write down my thoughts which later on evolved into the blog. The reason for the name came about when I got to know my beautiful wife, M. I called her “worry head” due to her nature of constant worrying.
I decided to become her advocate and began spreading awareness about endometriosis and fibromyalgia, wanting to make a change in the lack of equality for women’s health.
After the fact that I helped one person feel safe and better, I realized that I can do more. I decided to dedicate my life to helping other couples!