How to comfort your wife in chronic pain?

Chronic Illness

Dedicated to Male Partners

    If your wife is in chronic pain, it’s important to be supportive and understanding. There are a few things you can do to help ease her pain and make her feel more comfortable. My wife suffers from endometriosis and fibromyalgia. I support her through the challenges for over a decade now, and I have learned how to comfort my wife in chronic pain.

    If one person is chronically ill but the other is healthy, this can put a strain on even the strongest of relationships. I definitely understand how difficult it can be to watch your wife suffer day in and day out. But there are ways that you can help ease her pain, both physically and emotionally.

    Physically, you can comfort your wife in pain by:

    • help with household chores
    • run errands
    • cook meals
    • give massages
    • take her to doctors’ appointments

    Emotionally, you can comfort your wife in pain by:

    • listen to her
    • be patient
    • offer words of encouragement
    • offer to help with her pain medication
    • be understanding when she’s in a bad mood

    My wife and I try to be as understanding and supportive of each other as possible. We know that chronic pain can be unpredictable and frustrating, so I want to give you a little bit more, so in the next paragraph, I share with you my 17 tips to help you comfort your wife when she’s in pain…

    17 tips on how to comfort your wife in chronic pain.

    1. Listen to her: Let her talk about how she’s feeling and what she needs from you.
    2. Be patient: Don’t get frustrated if she’s having a bad day or is in a lot of pain.
    3. Offer to help: Ask if there’s anything you can do to help her with her pain or with household chores.
    4. Give hugs and massages: Physical touch can be very comforting when someone is in pain.
    5. Bring her favorite food: Sometimes all she needs is her favorite comfort food.
    6. Watching her favorite movie: Distracting herself with a good movie can help take her mind off the pain.
    7. Take a walk together: Getting some fresh air and moving around may help ease the pain.
    8. Go on dates: Make sure to still keep up with your regular date nights, even if it’s just staying in and watching a movie.
    9. Plan fun activities: Doing something she enjoys can help take her mind off the pain and make her feel good.
    10. Encourage her to exercise: Exercise can help ease chronic pain and improve mood.
    11. Be understanding: Don’t get angry or frustrated if she’s not up for doing things or is having a bad day.
    12. Offer to go to doctor’s appointments: Going to appointments with her can show how much you care and want to help.
    13. Help with research: If she wants to try natural remedies or alternative treatments, offer to help her do the research.
    14. Join a support group: There are often support groups available for spouses of those with chronic pain.
    15. Get involved: If there’s a local awareness or fundraising event for her condition, offer to help out or go with her.
    16. Be positive: Remind her that despite the pain, she can still enjoy her life and do the things she loves.
    17. Pray or meditate together: Sometimes all she needs is a little bit of spiritual guidance and support.

    If you want to learn how to comfort your wife with chronic pain, how to cope with her illness, how to support her struggles, and how to manage a relationship with a chronic condition, I give away a FREE Chapter of my eBook: “Supporting a Chronically Ill Partner”. 

    This chapter alone has all the comprehensive information about acknowledging the struggles, including:

    • A word to your partner.
    • A word to you.
    • Stepping on eggshells.
    • Understanding her needs.
    • How to acknowledge having a chronically ill partner?
    • Acknowledging can be hard.
    • 15 tips on how to do it!

    Get the 1st Chapter FREE!

    Chronic Illness for Partners

      When your wife is in chronic pain…

      Chronic pain can be very isolating and your wife may feel like no one understands what she’s going through. It’s important to be there for her and show her that you care. The above tips should help you how to comfort your wife in chronic pain.

      Comforting your wife when she’s in chronic pain can be challenging, but it’s important to show her that you care. By offering understanding, practical help, and emotional support, you can make a big difference in her life.

      The isolation that comes with living with a chronic illness can be tough on your marriage. Chronic conditions not only make those who suffer feel isolated, but their illness also isolates you, the healthy spouse.

      Here are five ways to stay connected to your wife despite her chronic pain.

      • Set aside regular time to talk.
      • Make sure she feels heard.
      • Take care of yourself.
      • Be patient.
      • Seek outside support.

      Knowing how to comfort your wife in chronic pain means knowing the answers to the following questions:

      • What do you say to wife in chronic pain?
      • What not to say to wife in chronic pain?
      • What not to do when your wife’s chronic pain?
      • What can you do if your wife is in constant pain?
      • How to stop your wife’s chronic pain?
      • How to cope with wife’s chronic pain?
      • How does chronic pain affect your wife?
      • What to do when your wife’s chronic pain affects you?

      What do you say to wife in chronic pain?

      Knowing what to say to your wife who goes through a pain flare can be difficult. You want to show support without adding to her stress. The following are a few phrases that may help get the conversation started:

      1. I’m here for you.
      2. You’re not alone.
      3. I’m sorry you’re in pain.
      4. What can I do to help?
      5. Do you want to talk about what’s going on?
      6. Are you in pain right now?
      7. Would you like me to rub your back/feet/etc.?
      8. Have you taken your medication today?
      9. Are you feeling any better?
      10. I love you no matter what.

      That seems pretty straightforward, right? But sometimes you may find yourself in a situation where you say something that really upset your loved one. You may not even realize that you’ve done it.

      So, apart from knowing what to say, you need to know what not to say to wife in chronic pain in order to avoid her feeling upset.

      How to comfort your wife in chronic pain 1

      What not to say to wife in chronic pain?

      Here are 10 examples of what not to say to wife in chronic pain:

      1. “It’s all in your head.”
      2. “You’re just exaggerating.”
      3. “Just take a painkiller and you’ll be fine.”
      4. “Stop being such a baby.”
      5. “It’s not that bad.”
      6. “Other people have it worse.”
      7. “You’re just looking for attention.”
      8. “You’re just lazy.”
      9. “You’re just making excuses.”
      10. “This is all your fault.”

      What not to do when your wife’s chronic pain?

      There are a few things you should not do when your wife’s chronic pain:

      • Don’t dismiss her pain.
      • Don’t try to fix her.
      • Don’t get angry or frustrated.
      • Don’t withdraw from her.
      • Don’t take it personally.
      • Don’t make assumptions.
      • Don’t ignore her needs.

      What can you do if your wife is in constant pain?

      If your wife is in constant pain, there are a few things you can do to help her:

      • Be supportive and understanding.
      • Listen to her and believe her.
      • Offer practical help and assistance.
      • Help her to find ways to cope with the pain.
      • Encourage her to seek professional help.
      • Be patient and understanding.

      How to stop your wife’s chronic pain?

      It depends. The only thing that can work is pain killers, but they come with various side effects, including:

      • Dependency
      • Nausea
      • Dizziness
      • Lethargy
      • Constipation

      In holistic terms, you can’t stop your wife’s chronic pain, however, you can help her manage it. By the very definition, chronic pain is long-term pain that lasts for more than 12 weeks. So, the best you can do is to help your wife find ways to cope with it.

      What works for my wife, for whom painkillers in the form of pills cause her terrible acid reflux and heartburn, may not work for your wife. What my wife does instead takes Diclofenac suppositories, also known as Cataflam, Voltaren, or Zipsor.

      Diclofenac is very effective and bypasses the digestive system not causing acid reflux or heartburn, but it needs to be taken with caution as it may lead to:

      • feeling sick (nausea)
      • being sick (vomiting) or diarrhea
      • feeling dizzy or vertigo
      • headaches
      • stomach ache, wind, or loss of appetite
      • mild rash

      What else works for my wife and may also work for yours is CBD. But Does CBD reduce inflammation and pain?

      CBD can reduce pain and inflammation in many ways. It can act on the body’s cannabinoid receptors to help reduce inflammation and pain. CBD can also help to reduce the production of inflammatory cytokines by inhibiting the activity of pro-inflammatory enzymes.

      In addition, CBD can help to reduce nerve pain by reducing the levels of neurotransmitters that are involved in pain signaling. Chronic nerve pain is often caused by inflammation and CBD can help to reduce this inflammation.

      My wife suffers from two chronic conditions, but she finds that whenever I apply CBD balm or oil to the sensitive areas of her body, the volume of pain subsides. CBD is especially useful for her fibromyalgia flare-ups since the pain is widespread and can be very debilitating.

      Aside from my wife’s endometriosis and fibromyalgia, CBD has been shown to be effective in reducing inflammation and pain in a variety of other chronic conditions such as arthritis and multiple sclerosis.

      How to cope with wife’s chronic pain?

      Like I said, and you may already know it yourself, your wife’s chronic pain also impacts you on many levels. As her husband, you may feel:

      • Helpless
      • Frustrated
      • Angry
      • Guilty
      • Sad
      • Anxious
      • Tired

      If you’re feeling any of these emotions, it’s important to find a healthy outlet for them. Some people find that journaling or talking to friends and family. I blog…

      Blogging allows me to express my emotions without showering my already suffering wife. The last thing she needs is to have to deal with my emotions. No matter how I feel, I try my best to keep it away from her, I express it in writing and let it all out.

      In a similar way to journaling, blogging also allows me to track my progress and see how far I’ve come. This can be very motivating, especially on tough days.

      It also helps other people in similar positions. Furthermore, done properly, blogging is the best form of business, however, not many people are aware of it. It provides the safest way to a financial future.

      If you want to learn more, I invite you to check one of the best articles I wrote about it. Until then, let’s get back to the subject of today – how to comfort your wife in chronic pain…

      In order to do that, you need to understand how chronic pain affects your wife.

      Let’s get right to it!

      How to comfort your wife in chronic pain 2

      How does chronic pain affect your wife?

      Knowing how to comfort your wife in chronic pain is knowing how chronic pain affects her. There are many ways chronic pain can affect your wife. From physical, emotional, and mental, to social, financial, and sexual.

      Let’s discuss them quickly one by one…

      • Physically, chronic pain can cause fatigue, poor sleep, and weight gain or loss.
      • Emotionally, chronic pain can lead to depression, anxiety, and anger.
      • Mentally, chronic pain can cause forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating and decreased productivity.
      • Socially, chronic pain can lead to social isolation and conflict within relationships.
      • Financially, chronic pain can lead to job loss and financial strain.
      • Sexually, chronic pain can lead to decreased libido and sexual dysfunction.

      As you can see, chronic pain takes a toll on every aspect of your wife’s life. And as her husband, you need to be there for her. But what can you do when your wife’s chronic pain affects you?

      What to do when your wife’s chronic pain affects you?

      When my wife’s chronic pain affects me, I try to stay calm and let the storm pass. It always does. I know that trying to argue with my own wife wouldn’t make any sense. Why would I try to defeat someone I love in a silly battle that can only end in either of us being hurt? It doesn’t make sense.

      Besides, I’ve learned not to make any permanent decisions for temporary emotions. They don’t last.

      But this is what I think, these are my beliefs. So, what can you do when your wife’s chronic pain affects you?

      Simply, talk to her about how you’re feeling and then listen to her afterward. These two things are the most effective things you can do.

      Of course, you can also read about how to stop your wife’s chronic pain and how to cope with it, but those are topics that should be written separately in other articles.

      For now, let’s focus on how to comfort your wife in chronic pain. In the meantime, to frap things up, I remind you my 17 ways to comfort your wife in chronic pain are:

      1. Be there for her.
      2. Listen to her.
      3. Hold her hand.
      4. Give her a hug.
      5. Bring her flowers.
      6. Cook for her.
      7. Do the grocery shopping for her.
      8. Take care of the kids for her.
      9. Help around the house.
      10. Give her a massage.
      11. Take her out.
      12. Write her a love letter.
      13. Tell her how much you love her.
      14. Spend time with her.
      15. Be patient with her.
      16. Pray for her.
      17. Help her find a support group.

      Get the 1st Chapter FREE!

      Chronic Illness for Partners

        How to comfort your wife in chronic pain?

        To comfort someone sometimes can be difficult when they are upset, but when the person you love is chronically ill and suffers from chronic pain, it might be even harder. You need to be strong for her and show support.

        There are a lot of ways how you can do that.

        I hope these tips were helpful. If you have any questions or suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment below. Thank you for reading!

        Signature Lucjan
        Lucjan B

        About Me

        Hi, I’m Lucjan! The reason why I decided to create this blog was my beautiful wife, who experienced a lot of pain in life, but also the lack of information about endometriosis and fibromyalgia for men…

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