What to do when your chronically ill partner gets frustrated?

Chronic Illness

Dedicated to Male Partners

    If you find yourself stuck not knowing what to do when your chronically ill partner gets frustrated, this article will put your worries away…

    It takes a significant amount of patience and compassion to get through the challenges that your partner’s illness brings to the relationship. Being patient when you love someone with a chronic illness can be frustrating and difficult, but it is so worth it.

    To show compassion when you feel blamed by your partner for the things you haven’t done or weren’t aware of can be incredibly difficult. It can feel really isolating when you are the only one trying to understand and be supportive.

    If your partner is chronically ill, there will be times when they get frustrated, but in order for your relationship to work, you need to sacrifice a little part of yourself and try to understand that their frustration is valid.

    Don’t try to fix your partner’s problems, instead, be a sounding board. Show patience and compassion, no matter how incredibly challenging it can be.

    My short story…

    I always believed, and still do, that my wife’s well-being should always be prioritized. I will never change my mind about it, but I had to learn that in order for my marriage to work, I needed to take care of myself too.

    It can be really overwhelming at times…

    My wife suffers from two chronic conditions. Firstly, she was diagnosed with a severe stage IV deep infiltrating endometriosis, a year after her diagnosis, she was additionally diagnosed with fibromyalgia disorder.

    Both conditions cause her daily chronic pain, chronic fatigue, and brain-fog and. All these symptoms impacted my wife’s mental health and caused her to develop general anxiety, panic attacks, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and depression.

    Her anxiety brings her constant worry about the unknown future causing occasional panic attacks. She developed Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder trying to find some sense of control over her situation. Her depression is the outcome of the loss of her life and occasionally brings her suicidal thoughts.

    So it can be unbelievably challenging for people, who like my wife, suffer from multimorbidity, but at the same time, it seems impossible for their partners, like myself, to cope with something they will never be able to fully understand.

    If you want to know what to do when your chronically ill partner gets frustrated, and you want to learn how to cope with your partner’s chronic illness, how to support her struggles, and manage a relationship with a chronic condition, I give away a FREE Chapter of my eBook: “Supporting a Chronically Ill Partner”. 

    This chapter alone has all the comprehensive information about acknowledging the struggles, including:

    • A word to your partner.
    • A word to you.
    • Stepping on eggshells.
    • Understanding her needs.
    • How to acknowledge having a chronically ill partner?
    • Acknowledging can be hard.
    • 15 tips on how to do it!

    Get the 1st Chapter FREE!

    Chronic Illness for Partners

      A few questions to ask…

      In order to understand what to do when your chronically ill partner gets frustrated you need to dig deeper and answer the following questions:

      1. Why does my partner’s mood change so quickly?
      2. Why do I feel frustrated with my partner?
      3. What can I do when my partner gets frustrated?
      4. What should I avoid doing when my partner gets frustrated?

      Why does my partner’s mood change so quickly?

      There are many reasons why the mood of a chronically ill person can change quickly. The most common reasons for that are:

      • The person is in pain.
      • The person is tired.
      • The person is anxious or depressed.
      • The person is angry or frustrated.

      For a mood to change quickly, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is bipolar. It can be due to the chronic illness itself. If you are concerned about your partner’s mood, you should talk to their doctor.

      Why do I feel frustrated with my partner?

      You may feel frustrated with your partner if you feel like you are always the one taking care of them. If you feel like you never have time for yourself, you may start to resent your partner. It is important to understand that your partner cannot help being sick.

      They need your support, not your frustration.

      It can be difficult not to feel frustrated if you constantly feel accused of the things you may not be aware of, and you may even feel resentful toward your ill partner.

      To feel frustrated in such situations is absolutely normal. However, you should remember that your partner is not doing this on purpose. Their chronic illness is most likely the reason for their outbursts.

      Your partner’s outbursts can be the outcome of constant worrying, being in a state of anxiety, obsessing over things, and being depressed. None of the outbursts are intentional, however, it is hard for your partner to control their emotions.

      What to do when your chronically ill partner gets frustrated 1

      What can I do when my partner gets frustrated?

      If your partner is frustrated, there are a few things you can do to help:

      • Listen to your partner.
      • Try to understand what they are going through.
      • Offer support and encouragement.
      • Suggest coping strategies, such as deep breathing or relaxation exercises.
      • Encourage your partner to seek professional help if their mood changes are severe or affecting their quality of life.

      What should I avoid doing when my partner gets frustrated?

      There are a few things you should avoid doing when your partner gets frustrated:

      • Don’t try to fix the problem.
      • Don’t get angry or defensive.
      • Don’t take it personally.
      • Avoid giving unsolicited advice.

      Remember that you can’t control your partner’s mood, but you can offer support and understanding. Sure, it will never be easy, but it’s worth it to see your partner happy and healthy.

      If you find yourself trapped and not being able to avoid getting frustrated, it is important to take a step back and understand that this isn’t your partner’s fault. It can be difficult, but try to remember that your partner is going through a tough time. After all, they are the ones who are sick, not you.

      When a partner’s frustrations cause you frustration…

      What to do when your chronically ill partner gets frustrated and you feel that your partner’s frustrations cause you frustration?

      That’s a tough one!

      Someone has to give in in order to avoid an argument, but if you’re constantly giving in, you might start resenting your partner. My advice would be to try and have a conversation about it, see if your partner is willing to talk about their feelings and try to understand why they’re feeling frustrated. If they’re not willing to talk about it, maybe try and take a step back and give them some space.

      It can be really difficult to see your partner suffer and not be able to do anything about it. You might feel like you’re not doing enough, or that you should be doing more.

      Try and have a conversation with your partner about what they need from you and what would make them feel supported. It’s so important to communicate with each other and to try and understand each other’s needs.

      Sometimes, no matter how much you try, you might not be able to make your partner feel better. And that’s OK. You can’t fix everything and you can’t make the pain go away. All you can do is be there for them, show them compassion and love, and try to understand what they’re going through.

      I know it’s not easy, but it’s so important to try and find a balance between taking care of yourself and taking care of your partner. You both need to be able to lean on each other, and you both need to make sure that you’re taking care of yourselves both physically and mentally.

      It’s also OK to ask for help…

      But how does it help your frustration as the partner?

      If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s OK to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends and family or even a therapist. It’s so important to take care of yourself, both physically and mentally. If you’re feeling like you can’t do this on your own, that’s OK. You don’t have to do everything on your own. There are so many people out there who want to help and support you. Just ask.

      How do I not let my partner’s mood affect me?

      How do I not let their mood affect me?

      Well, that’s a loaded question, and it really depends on the situation. If your partner is chronically ill, then you know that their mood can change at the drop of a dime. And, while you can’t control their mood, you can try to understand where they’re coming from and be there for them.

      Chronic illness can be incredibly frustrating, both for the person who is ill and for their loved ones. It’s important to remember that your partner is not their illness, and they are not defined by it. However, their chronic illness will likely have a significant impact on their mood and emotions.

      If you’re feeling down because your partner is in a bad mood, try to remember that it’s not personal. Their mood has nothing to do with you and is likely just a result of the stress and frustration that comes with living with a chronic illness.

      Try to be understanding and patient with your partner. If they’re having a bad day, offer to help out. I often find that doing something for my wife automatically helps me get rid of any negative feelings toward her.

      You need time and space to breathe, I need my “man time”, and I need to be on my own sometimes. But there are a lot of positive aspects of staying apart when you need it. It makes you miss your partner wanting to be with them, it allows you to gather thoughts, cool down, to focus on yourself.

      For me, gym workouts and blogging give me a great amount of relief, and this is how I don’t let my partner’s mood affect me.

      What to do when your chronically ill partner gets frustrated 2

      Can mood swings ruin a relationship?

      Of course, mood swings can have an impact on any relationship – whether the person is chronically ill or not. However, when one partner is chronically ill, it can put a lot of strain on the relationship.

      It definitely put a lot of strain on my marriage.

      Endometriosis alone was the reason for my wife asking me to divorce her. I refused every time, however, the endometriosis divorce rate among couples with this chronic disease is as high as 75 percent! This means that 3 out of 4 marriages with endometriosis end in divorce.

      Adding to my wife’s struggles with endometriosis, another condition that causes widespread pain, sleep problems, memory issues, and mood swings, is fibromyalgia.

      Mood swings aren’t easy to control. Hormonal imbalances are usually responsible for how your partner experiences the illness. Endometriosis impacts estrogen levels and creates imbalances in the body. These imbalances can cause your partner to experience extreme highs and lows.

      Fibromyalgia also causes hormonal imbalances. The main culprit is cortisol. Cortisol is a stress hormone that’s supposed to help the body deal with stressful situations.

      However, when cortisol levels are constantly high, it can lead to fibromyalgia flares. These flares can cause your partner to experience pain, fatigue, and moodiness.

      Mood swings can put a lot of strain on any relationship. But, when one partner is chronically ill, it can be even harder to deal with, and oftentimes mood swings can ruin a relationship.

      Tips on what to do when your chronically ill partner gets frustrated!

      Understand that their frustration is valid. It’s easy to want to fix things when your partner is frustrated, but it’s important to remember that their frustration is valid. Their illness is a real burden and it’s okay for them to feel frustrated.

      Don’t try to fix their problems. It’s natural to want to help your partner when they’re struggling, but it’s important to remember that you can’t fix their problems. Trying to do so will only make them feel more frustrated and incompetent.

      Be a sounding board. One of the best things you can do for your partner is to be a sounding board. Listen to their frustrations and offer support and understanding.

      Show patience and compassion. Finally, show your partner patience and compassion. They are dealing with a lot and need your support. Be there for them and show them that you understand what they’re going through.

      To wrap it all up, here are 9 simple tips on what to do when your chronically ill partner gets frustrated:

      1. Give them space to vent and don’t take it personally.
      2. Be understanding and try to see things from their perspective.
      3. Help them find healthy outlets for their frustration, such as exercise or journaling.
      4. Encourage them to talk to their doctor about their feelings.
      5. Offer to help with practical tasks or childcare so they can have a break.
      6. Make time for fun activities together that they can enjoy despite their illness.
      7. Show your support by attending medical appointments with them or helping out around the house.
      8. Talk openly about your own frustrations and how you’re coping with them too.
      9. Seek professional help if the situation is becoming too much to handle on your own.

      If you’re struggling to deal with your partner’s frustration, don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist or counselor. They can offer guidance on how to best support your partner and manage the situation.

      I hope this helps!

      Get the 1st Chapter FREE!

      Chronic Illness for Partners

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        Lucjan B

        About Me

        Hi, I’m Lucjan! The reason why I decided to create this blog was my beautiful wife, who experienced a lot of pain in life, but also the lack of information about endometriosis and fibromyalgia for men…

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