Women’s pain is not being taken seriously. How to be taken seriously by a doctor.
Why women’s pain is not being taken seriously?
Doctors can be quick to say that women’s pain isn’t so bad or is “all in their head”. I’ve learned from my wife’s experiences that women’s pain is not being taken seriously.
I said experiences because there were so many situations where doctors neglected my wife that I have lost count.
It goes to show that the vast majority of chronic pain affects women.
So apart from Worry Head being dedicated to people like me – spousal caregivers, I decided to go on a quest for raising awareness about the mistreatment of women.
After all, men need to support women like my wife.
So, why women’s pain is not being taken seriously?
Here’s the answer:
Women’s health was never taken seriously. Such an attitude leads women to unnecessary suffering and puts their health at serious risk.
You generally assume that your doctor will listen to you and do something about your pain and any health concerns you may have.
After all, this is supposed to be their job. But the truth is that you often feel like your doctor just isn’t listening.
Women’s pain is not being taken seriously. How to be taken seriously by a doctor.
Even though a general doctor has a medical degree, as a patient, you are an expert in your body, not him.
In just 10 mins of his time, your doctor makes a life-changing decision that will impact you and your partner.
Because of that, you can be misdiagnosed and waste precious years before you get diagnosed.
There’s a lot of ignorance, lack of common sense, and corruption in the health industry.
Endometriosis and fibromyalgia.
After years of battling with doctors, my wife was finally diagnosed with stage IV deep infiltrating endometriosis.
The diagnosis of endometriosis gave her some kind of closure, however, the emotional shock of it caused M to develop fibromyalgia.
Endometriosis occurs when bits of the tissue that lines the uterus grows outside of it, in other places, on pelvic organs, the ovaries, or fallopian tubes.
The endometriosis pain can feel like a dull ache, but also sharp and stabbing.
Women feel as if their insides were pulled down, or an intense tightening or burning pain.
The uterus and ovaries are positioned near the back, and because of this, endometriosis cells can stick to your lower back causing a lot of pain.
As many as 10 percent of women worldwide suffer from this brutal illness. But let’s not forget those who aren’t diagnosed, the number is much higher.
Fibromyalgia affects as many as 80 percent of women as opposed to only 20 percent of men.
Fibromyalgia is a complex disorder causing a collection of chronic symptoms with no specific underlying pathology.
The main fibromyalgia symptoms are fatigue and widespread chronic pain, which is accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory, and mood issues.
Both conditions have invisible symptoms and are referred to as invisible illnesses. Because of that, doctors don’t take women’s symptoms seriously.
How to get rid of the old myth that women are emotional, overreacting, and generally unable to describe their own medical conditions?
I’ve learned is women are more open than men, which makes them look like they overreact.
The truth is that men are afraid to open up from the fear of feeling weak in other men’s eyes. But women’s lives depend on the decisions of men who take high positions in society. That isn’t fair.
Women’s pain is not being taken seriously!
There are many chronic illnesses that are often dismissed by some doctors.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, endometriosis, and fibromyalgia are only a few of them. Women are encouraged by their doctors to take the pill or antidepressants.
They are often told that their hormones are responsible for their mood, that the symptoms they experience are “normal for women”.
It’s really frustrating to have questions that don’t get answered.
When my wife was diagnosed with stage IV deep infiltrating endometriosis, she didn’t know enough to ask the right questions.
M assumed that gynecologists should know all the answers, and she listens carefully to the doc’s explanations.
She thought she’ll find them, but she was wrong. It delayed the diagnosis.
Doctors should properly evaluate women’s health, but instead, they blame their symptoms on menstruation and hormonal changes. It is frustrating and extremely harmful.
Let me put it bluntly… health care is corrupted!
Doctors are thought to treat not cure patients. What is the difference you ask..?
Cure means recovery, treatment is ongoing, and longer doctors “treat patients” more medicines they prescribe. The more they prescribe more money they make.
And who is on the top of it all, teaching doctors what to do – FDA. Federal Drug Administration is a multi-billion dollar company, making money on ill people.
Even though you cannot cure a chronic illness, it can be managed.
The best way to manage chronic illness is by a holistic approach.
Corporations like FDA pay pharmaceutical industries to sell drugs that make the most money, and pay politicians to pass on such laws.
The world is corrupted, and who’s on the top – men. Not only do poor people lose on it, but women are also at the most risk.
So that’s in a nutshell how FDA controls your doctors, and they in return, willingly or not, unconsciously or greedy, give you pills instead of taking good care of you.
What to do?
What can you do knowing that women’s pain is not being taken seriously?
If you suffer from a chronic illness and your doctors are not responding, here’s what you should do:
First of all, stop going alone. Not only take a companion with you, but it also has to be a man.
I personally tested this on multiple occasions. Not only with male doctors but male employers too.
My wife struggled with her doctors for about 6 years. They never took her seriously.
Not only general practitioners, but hospitals, and even two of her male managers at work, never took her symptoms seriously until I stepped in.
Not only they begin to listen to what she had to say, but they also acted on what they meant to originally do.
What strikes me the most was the fact that on each appointment I sat quietly without saying a word.
My male presence was enough to change their neglect into action.
It shocked me, and so I began to think that maybe it was a coincidence… nope, it wasn’t! Because there were times when I couldn’t attend her visits due to work.
In such days doctors went back to their old ways. Whenever my wife was seeing a doctor alone, despite her pleads, she came out empty-handed.
Whenever I accompanied her, the tone was different, action put in place.
My wife also struggled with work due to her illnesses. Her mental health was deteriorating. Her boss, however, wasn’t take her seriously.
One day (without my M knowing), I called her employer and organized a meeting with him after rising my concerns about her health problems.
By the end of the week, I attempted the meeting along with my wife.
There were two managers who discussed the matter with us. They looked prepared, they knew what I was going to ask, they never complained but offered support.
Later in the month, my wife received a letter from occupational health, which explained that her employer asked them to help my wife.
Cheeky chaps took the credit for our idea since we were the ones who asked for “Occy Health”. That made us upset, but at least the action was taken.
It goes to show that women’s pain is not being taken seriously. Men can be cocky, and will often take credit for your ideas. They do not always play fair, but as long as the presence of a man benefits you, it’s all that matters.
Second of all, make a series of appointments with a physician you trust, in order to cover all your issues without the doctor feeling rushed.
The good doctor, who actually wants to help you may feel overwhelmed by the amount of information you give him in a short amount of time, having 10 minutes to assess you.
You want to use this time wisely.
Make a list of symptoms you experience over the last 3 months, ideally keeping a journal.
Write down questions you may have so you are prepared, and any concerns you may have.
If you find you simply cannot communicate or trust your doctor to have your best interests in mind, find another!
You have a right to a second opinion, and you have to be your best advocate. Value yourself!
Summarising the subject of women’s pain is not being taken seriously, I came to many conclusions in the 14 years of knowing my wife.
Come to your appointments having information about your condition. Do online research and read books on the subject of endometriosis.
It’s hard for a doctor to ignore information from medical sites or books.
If you can, check online conferences and find support groups with those who suffer from your condition.
It may not help you get all the answers, but as an informed patient you will be able to press for solutions with your doctor and ask him the right questions.
Don’t be afraid to talk about your concerns you may have. Advocate for yourself like you would for your loved one.
You need a doctor who understands you as an individual, not just as a collection of symptoms. You are unique.
Every person is different and should be looked at as a whole. Mind and body should not be seen as separate.
Bring a man with you to your appointments. Taking a male member of family or close friend with you will not only take the pressure off but will be a game-changer.
Keep a list of your symptoms and treatments. It is best to write a journal.
This way your questions and concerns won’t get lost in the conversation. Ideally, bring up what is most important to you at the beginning of the visit.
Make sure your doctor wants to get to the root of your pain. If he begins to write a prescription without giving you an explanation of what they think is causing you distress, ask questions!
If he isn’t taking your pain seriously, it might be time to find a new doctor, even if he minimizes your concerns.
Don’t be afraid to seek a different opinion!
Your pain is real and must be taken seriously. It’s easy for a doctor to be dismissive of your pain, but you are the only one who knows what you’re experiencing.
Don’t be afraid to speak up again (and again) until you get the answers you deserve.
Lastly, pain is a symptom in a wide range of medical conditions and can have a big impact on your quality of life, functioning, and even on employment.
Women’s pain is not being taken seriously, despite the fact that they dominate most diagnoses related to chronic pain, but you can use the above coping strategies to win your battles with doctors.
Wishing you the best of luck!
Hi, I’m Lucjan! The reason why I decided to create this blog was my beautiful wife, who experienced a lot of pain in life, but also the lack of information about endometriosis and fibromyalgia for men…