How to date a girl with endometriosis? Advice from a husband of a woman who has endo.
Tips on how to date a girl with endometriosis.
Why am I the best person to advise you on how to date a girl with endometriosis? Because I, too, was once a partner, boyfriend, fiancé, and today I’m a husband.
I went through every stage of a relationship and definitely can give you the answer knowing what I know today.
A decade of personal experience taught me not only how to take care of her, but also how to take care of myself beforehand. Later on, I’ll tell you why that matters.
When I married this beautiful Italian girl, she had a lot of pain, she also had digestive problems, severe anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. I even remember our wedding day as if it was yesterday, she vomited that very morning! Call it a bad omen or else, we meant to marry each other.
Back then, I didn’t know what was coming. She’s been struggling with heavy, painful periods, a lot of hormonal and mood changes.
We knew something wasn’t right but we didn’t know what that was. If we knew, it would be a heck of a lot easier than not knowing that she had endometriosis.
But put aside this little introduction, let’s get straight to the point here and answer your question. How to date a girl with endometriosis?
You should date a girl with endometriosis like any other girl without health issues not to make her feel different, not to make her feel a burden.
A girl with endometriosis has the same needs and goals in life, she may need to adjust to her new way of life, but she can still live fully, be happy, and be independent.
You are in a better place than I was due to the fact that you can politely set your boundaries from the start. Tell her that nothing will change what you feel about her as long as you can do the things you love doing without sacrificing yourself entirely.
I did. That was my mistake.
I gave my girl WAY too much attention, and however it is important, and little sacrifice makes sense now and then, you cannot be there for her every time you see her suffer.
She has to learn to live with endometriosis, and however insidious this condition is, you have your own health to take care of. Don’t sacrifice it all. Care for her, but do the things you love doing.
How does endometriosis affect relationships?
Endometriosis affects relationships in different ways. It has a psychological, emotional, mental, physical, social, sexual, and financial impact, but don’t get discouraged, everything can be okay if you simply discuss the challenges that come along.
Depending on the endometriosis stage and type, but also your partner’s character and strength, she will react differently to it than another person.
So, in order to answer how does endometriosis affects relationships, you need to know her type and stage, because each one of them will have a different impact on her, therefore you and your relationship.
What are the stages of endometriosis?
Based on the above results, endometriosis is ranked in one of four stages:
Stage 1 – minimal – where there are a few small wounds or lesions, which may be found on your organs, the tissue lining your pelvis or even your abdomen, but there’s little to no scar tissue.
Stage 2 – mild – where there are more implants than in the first stage. Additionally. they are deeper and may create some scar tissue.
Stage 3 – moderate – this stage has many deep implants. You may additionally have small cysts on either – one or two ovaries, and even thick scars called “adhesions”.
Stage 4 – severe – as the name suggests, is the most severe stage which is widespread. You have many deep and thick adhesions and there will also be large cysts on one or both ovaries.
What are the types of endometriosis?
There are four main types of endometriosis:
Superficial peritoneal endometriosis is the first type, in which a thin membrane, called “peritoneum”, lines your abdomen and pelvis, and covers most of your organs in these cavities. In this type, the endometrial tissue attaches to the peritoneum, which is the least severe form of endometriosis.
Endometriomas. These are dark color cysts, fluid-filled, also called “chocolate cysts” because of the way they look. They vary in size and may appear in different parts of your pelvis or/and abdomen. However, they are most common in the ovaries.
Deep infiltrating endometriosis (DIE). The endometrial tissue in this type invades your organs, either, within or outside your pelvic cavity. This may include your ovaries, rectum, bladder, and even your bowel. It’s rare, but sometimes a lot of scar tissue can bind organs together in such a way, that they become stuck in place.
This condition is called “the frozen pelvis”, and only happens to 1%-5% of people with endometriosis. Unfortunately, my wife belongs to the 1 percent, having stage IV deep infiltrating endometriosis.
Abdominal wall endometriosis. In some cases, endometrial tissue can grow on the abdominal wall. The cells may attach to a surgical incision, like one from a C-section, as it states in this source.
How can I help my girlfriend with endometriosis?
Knowing how to date a girl with endometriosis, which means not to act any different than you would with a healthy girl, you may fall in love with her, you become a couple…
What’s next? What if she struggles and you find yourself asking – how can I help my girlfriend with endometriosis?
As for the beginning of 2022, being married for 10 years, and being with my wife for over a decade, I gained a tremendous amount of knowledge and I have plenty of useful tips to answer your question.
Here’s how you can help your girlfriend with her endometriosis:
Educate yourself about endometriosis. She will really appreciate your efforts, she will realize how much you care about her and how much she means to you.
One of the best ways to educate yourself about endometriosis are tools such as “Endo-Tool, Endometriosis for Men”, where I give you a FREE 1st chapter that contains 20 pages filled with a lot of value, including:
- What is endometriosis?
- What are the symptoms?
- What causes endometriosis?
- What does endometriosis look like?
- What are the stages?
- What are the types?
- What is adenomyosis and how is it related to endometriosis?
- Why do some women develop severe endo and others don’t?
- Does endometriosis cause infertility?
- How is endometriosis diagnosed?
- Do types and stages affect the treatment?
- Recurrence of endometriosis after excision surgery.
Get FREE “Endo-Tool”
Endometriosis for Men e-Book
Spread awareness about endometriosis. Your girl will need your support in this because most of the time people don’t understand what it means to live with this chronic illness. First, you learn, then you educate others.
Attend her appointments. I accompanied all my wife’s doctors and hospital appointments. You don’t have to go as far as I did, but support her during most of them. Remember being a man, doctors will take her more seriously, knowing that she doesn’t imagine things. Doctors often gaslight women.
Listen. Listen to her. Knowing how to date a girl with endometriosis means listening. Listen to what she has to say. Trust me – you are going to learn from her more than any book, any doctor, any website. Simply listen to your partner.
Help her. There will be days when she has a bad pain flare-up, fatigue, brain fog. Offer her doing something before she asks you to. If you notice a full of rubbish bin, take care of it. If she’s in pain, run her a hot bath, offer to rub CBD oil into the area where it hurts. Take initiative.
Be patient and understanding. This is important for any relationship, let alone for the woman who has endometriosis. Be understanding of the last-minute change of her plans, be patient. She will be very grateful.
Ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. You cannot get overwhelmed. If she has a helpful mum, siblings, or a friend, ask for help. And don’t be afraid to ask her too, ask what she needs and how best you can support her.
Distract her! I often found that if my wife has nothing to do, she begins to think and get anxious. Stress gives her more flare-ups of symptoms and pain. By distracting her, you avoid all that process. So go to the park, for a coffee, book a mini-break. Enjoy it.
I hope this answers, in a nutshell, the question of how to date a girl with endometriosis? If you need more detailed information, just give me a shout via [email protected] and I’ll do my best to answer your questions.
If you want to learn about a holistic approach to your girl’s endometriosis, I cannot recommend enough a book that dives deep into the whole topic of using a vast range of safe natural therapies and nutrition to help manage endometriosis…
Hi, I’m Lucjan! The reason why I decided to create this blog was my beautiful wife, who experienced a lot of pain in life, but also the lack of information about endometriosis and fibromyalgia for men…