How to love someone with endo?
It may seem impossible to love someone with endo bearing in mind the pain and suffering that this debilitating disease can cause, but it is possible.
After being diagnosed with stage IV deep infiltrating endometriosis, my wife was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia disorder.
I have been with my wife for over a decade. I gained a lot of wisdom and experience no book can buy. Loving someone with endo can be challenging, but loving someone with multiple conditions is even harder.
Here is my take on for you to understand the importance of loving someone with endometriosis:
You are blessed to be healthy! Don’t take it for granted and appreciate your luck. She has lost her health, hope, motivation, and love for herself. She has nobody but you. She needs love and support to keep going!
- 1). Educate yourself about endo.
- 2). Communicate with her.
- 3). Be supportive.
- 4). Try to be patient.
- 5). Remind her to love herself.
- 6). Help with household chores.
- 7). Plan date nights or days out.
- 8). Encouraging her to do things.
- 9). Talk about things other than endo.
- 10). Love her unconditionally.
Tips to love someone with endo.
For men like me or you, loving women with endo brings out a different side of you. You may never have experienced feeling so helpless before and that is tough to deal with.
And being a man put in the unknown territory of emotions and hormones, you are expected to be the strong one and have all the answers.
But you don’t and that is ok!
Here are some tips that worked for me when loving a woman with endometriosis:
- Educate yourself about endo.
- Communicate with her.
- Be supportive.
- Try to be patient.
- Remind her to love herself.
- Help with household chores.
- Plan date nights or days out.
- Encouraging her to do things.
- Talk about things other than endo.
- Love her unconditionally.
If you want to learn about endometriosis in detail, I wrote an “Endo-Tool, Endometriosis for Men” e-Book.
You can get the 1st Chapter of the e-Book for FREE, and if you like it, you’ll get a Whopping 33% Discount on the Whole Book, plus discounts on other helpful tools. You have nothing to lose but a lot to gain!
The first chapter alone contains all the comprehensive medical knowledge about endometriosis, including:
- What is endometriosis?
- What are the symptoms?
- What causes endometriosis?
- What does endometriosis look like?
- What are the stages?
- What are the types?
- What is adenomyosis and how is it related to endometriosis?
- Why do some women develop severe endo and others don’t?
- Does endometriosis cause infertility?
- How is endometriosis diagnosed?
- Do types and stages affect the treatment?
- Recurrence of endometriosis after excision surgery.
FREE Chapter of “Endo-Tool”
Endometriosis e-Book for Men
1). Educate yourself about endo.
The first step is to educate yourself about the disease. The more you know about endometriosis, the better equipped you will be to deal with the situation.
Remember that every woman is unique, and so is your partner. How she reacts to endo symptoms may not be the same for other women. Unlike other ladies, my wife doesn’t take hormones, she also avoids painkillers.
In addition to that, you have types and stages of endometriosis, making it more complicated.
But don’t get discouraged, love will find a way.
The best thing you can do is to educate yourself about the type and stage of her endometriosis. It
is going to allow you to better understand the symptoms she is experiencing and why.
Research endometriosis, and learn as much as you can so you can be her best support.
2). Communicate with her.
Lack of communication is one of the main reasons why relationships fail.
Make sure you talk with her and always keep the lines of communication open. She needs to be able to express how she is feeling and you need to be able to listen.
Listening is the hard part because as a man, we are problem solvers. We want to fix things and make them go away.
But sometimes the best thing you can do is just listen.
And when she is ready, she will tell you what she needs from you. You don’t need to know how to fix things, you cannot fix her health. Nobody can – there’s no cure. But you can help to fix her hurt mind.
By communicating with her, you are letting her know that she is not alone in this fight.
3). Be supportive.
You can show your partner support in many ways. From the simplest things like holding her hand to more complicated things like going with her to doctor’s appointments.
The most important thing is that she knows you are there for her.
To love someone with endo and be supportive when she is in a negative mood is not easy. You may find yourself getting frustrated because you cannot make her feel better. She may also seem unpleasant at times, but that’s not her intention.
It is the illness, her endo, not her, so you need to be there for her regardless of her mood. The key is to be patient and understand that her moods are out of her control.
Be supportive and understanding. This is a difficult time for her and she needs all the love and support she can get.
Be her rock, her protector, and her confidante.
4). Try to be patient.
Be patient, she is in pain and needs your love and understanding.
There will be times of frustration and doubt, but remember, patience is a virtue. She suffers daily diabolical symptoms. It’s easy for us to forget that because we cannot see or feel them ourselves.
But they are real, I assure you of that.
Being patient with someone with endometriosis and fibromyalgia, I found myself misunderstood because even though my wife is the one who’s chronically ill, my needs always seem to be marginalized in the eyes of society and medical professionals.
This never seemed fair. The partners of chronically ill women, especially men standing by the women who have endometriosis, have to take on a lot, and patience is one of the most important virtues we need.
5). Remind her to love herself.
Women with endometriosis seem to take care of everyone else but themselves. They feel some kind of need to prove they are worthy of love and respect. They feel responsible for their loved ones thinking that they are a burden to everyone.
My wife felt like a burden to the point she tried to take her own life on two separate occasions. She also asked me five times to divorce her.
She thought that I could have a better life with someone else. Not being able to give me kids, family, and even physical intimacy, M felt like she could never be a proper woman and wife.
This is how women with endo feel, and this is why the endometriosis divorce rate is as high as 75 percent.
As much as she loves you, she also needs love from herself. Make sure she takes care of herself, both physically and emotionally.
Do encourage her to practice self-care, and to focus on herself more.
6). Help with household chores.
Offer to help out around the house as much as possible. With her being in pain, she may not be able to do everything that she used to do. So, lend a helping hand where you can.
Ideally, you should not wait for her to tell you what needs to be done, do it out of your own initiative, and you’ll find that your relationship will blossom as a result.
Little things done more often are more important than the big ones once in a while.
Remember, she might be in excruciating pain, but won’t tell you. She wants to feel needed, and she wants to contribute to your relationship, but she’ll never show how she feels not to put a burden on you.
But still, do it out of your own free will.
Scrab this shower, and this bath, wash the mirrors, hoover the house, and cook if you love it or even if you don’t. If you make an effort to do something out of your control zone, she’ll love you more, I promise.
7). Plan date nights or days out.
She may not be up for going out, and quite frankly, she’ll often cancel your plans last minute. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you or appreciate your efforts.
She is just trying to protect you from her pain because she doesn’t want you to see her in that light.
She doesn’t want you to see her as weak or needy.
So, try to be understanding when this happens, and don’t take it personally.
Planning date nights or days out can be difficult, but it’s important to try to make an effort. It doesn’t have to be anything big or fancy, it could be something as simple as going for a walk in the park, or going out for coffee.
The important thing is that you’re spending time together and making an effort to connect with each other.
With her being in pain, she may not be up for going out all the time. So, plan some special date nights or days out just for the two of you. This will give her something to look forward to.
8). Encouraging her to do things.
Encourage her to get involved in activities and hobbies that make her happy.
Ideally, if you share something together, that’s a great starting point.
Being professional dancers, my wife and I used to dance daily, for hours. These days we may not be able to do it as often, but dancing is still in our blood.
We share a passion, if you share one too, do encourage her to stay active in any way you can.
it could be something else, like traveling, or visiting places. Short-term or long-term, as long you keep moving, you’ll find that your relationship will progress in a more positive direction.
9). Talk about things other than endo.
Just because she has endo, doesn’t mean that’s all she wants to talk about.
Endometriosis takes over the entire life of the woman. And loving women with endo means knowing where to draw the line between being her partner and caregiver.
She may not want to burden you with her problems, so try to bring up other topics of conversation.
Talk about your day, what’s going on at work, anything that will take her mind off of her pain.
If she brings up endo, try to be understanding and listen to her. A lot of times, just talking about it can help to ease her pain.
10). Love her unconditionally.
This is the most important thing of all. Love her for who she is, and not for what she can do for you.
She is a human being, with feelings, needs, and emotions, just like you. So love her unconditionally, and she will love you back tenfold.
Endometriosis is a lifelong condition, there is no cure, and it will progress with age. So, love her now, love her forever, love her unconditionally.
This is how you love someone with endo. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. I know from experience. My wife has been my rock over the last ten years, and I would be lost without her.
Be her rock, her protector, and her confidante.
Loving someone with endo is not always easy but it is possible. With love, understanding, and support, you can get through this together. Women with endometriosis need emotional support. They need to know that they are not alone in this battle.
A final word on loving someone with endometriosis.
Knowing how to love someone with endo can help you connect on a deeper level. It can help you to understand her needs and how to best support her.
Endometriosis is a lifelong condition, there is no cure, and it will progress with age.
So, love her now, love her forever, love her unconditionally. This is how you love someone with endo. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
I know from experience. My wife has been my rock over the last ten years, and I would be lost without her.
Be her rock, her protector, and her confidante. Loving someone with endo is not always easy but it is possible. With love understanding, and support you can get through this together.
Women with endometriosis need emotional support. They need to know that they are not alone in this battle.
Endometriosis love should be unconditional because this is a lifelong condition for the woman you love.
There is no cure for endometriosis, but with love and support, progress can be made. Learning how to love someone with endo can help you connect on a deeper level so you can better understand her needs and how to best support her.
Thanks for reading!
Hi, I’m Lucjan! The reason why I decided to create this blog was my beautiful wife, who experienced a lot of pain in life, but also the lack of information about endometriosis and fibromyalgia for men…