Chronic illness divorce rate. Saving marriage from divorce…
Chronic illness divorce rate.
When one spouse is chronically ill, the divorce rate is as high as 75 percent. Married women diagnosed with a chronic illness are 6 times more likely to be divorced. Chronic illness divorce rate statistics show that 75% of marriages affected by chronic illness end in divorce.
Despite the fact that marriages are more likely to end in divorce when the woman is chronically ill, I stood by my wife to support her after a decade of battles with anxiety and depression caused by endometriosis, and fibromyalgia.
My wife has an advanced stage IV deep infiltrating endometriosis and fibromyalgia syndrome also called FMS for short.
I love her, I will never leave her, despite such a high chronic illness divorce rate. I became fascinated by it thinking about why men leave women to the point I wrote 3 articles on a similar subject…
- Endometriosis divorce rate.
- Fibromyalgia divorce rate.
- Chronic pain divorce rate.
The chronic illness divorce rate is my fourth article which also shortly answers the following questions:
- Why is the endometriosis divorce rate high?
- Why is the fibromyalgia divorce rate high?
- Why is the chronic pain divorce rate high?
Saving marriage from divorce isn’t easy, but if as a man you are willing to put some work in, your wife and you can live a fairly normal and happy life.
I have made many mistakes and fell flat on my face many times, but I always got up to start over, and my personal experience allowed me to gain knowledge on how to save marriage from divorce.
You have to learn one important thing here, that rather than trying to “fix your wife’s health”, focus on adjusting and changing your own ways to chronic illness, whether it’s endometriosis or fibromyalgia.
Why is the endometriosis divorce rate high?
The best thing you can do to avoid divorce is to understand your partner in the best way you possibly can. You can do it by openly and honestly listening to her, but there’s so much more…
When you care for a chronically ill loved one, the demands of caregiving can be really exhausting, and overwhelming!
Why is the endometriosis divorce rate high?
The endometriosis divorce rate is high because endometriosis, especially the one my wife suffers from – stage IV deep infiltrating endometriosis – is one of the most brutal and unforgiving chronic illnesses.
Endometriosis is a chronic gynecological condition causing the endometrial-like tissue to grow outside the uterus, which causes inflammation.
Common symptoms of endometriosis are chronic pain in the pelvic area, chronic fatigue, painful sex, painful periods, heavy periods, and low fertility. Apart from that, there is no definitive cure for endometriosis.
Men report that endometriosis affects many aspects of their life, including sex and intimacy, planning for having children, financial struggles due to work absence when supporting their wives. Men tend to take on additional tasks and roles.
Let’s not forget that endometriosis also has an impact on men’s emotions. I often felt helpless, frustrated, worried, angry, and even resentful at times. The lack of our recognition as the vital support of female partners results in us being marginalized and forgotten.
This is why the endometriosis divorce rate is as high as 75%.
Why is the fibromyalgia divorce rate high?
The fibromyalgia divorce rate is high because the symptoms of fibromyalgia are far worse in women than amongst men suffering from this chronic illness. Fibromyalgia affects 80% of women and only 20% of men.
Additionally, due to the menstrual cycle and wider hormonal imbalance, women suffer more and stronger symptoms, plus have more active fibromyalgia tender points than men.
The cognitive impact of fibromyalgia is often misunderstood due to its invisible aspect.
The same goes for chronic, widespread, full-bodied pain that isn’t often acknowledged but put down to anxiety and depression by general practitioners.
It’s not clear what causes fibromyalgia, however, it is believed that it can appear after a stressful event like an injury, illness, or the death of a loved one. In my wife’s case, it was a physical, emotional, and mental impact of an endometriosis diagnosis.
As well as with endometriosis, fibromyalgia impacts male partners, causing a variety of emotions such as sadness, grief, anger, loneliness, being unheard, forgotten, ignored, and neglected.
This is why the fibromyalgia divorce rate is as high as 75%.
Why is the chronic pain divorce rate high?
The chronic pain divorce rate is also as high as 75% because both – endometriosis and fibromyalgia have an impact on a person’s mental wellbeing, and are a trigger for the development of anxiety, depression, and anger.
Like I said at the beginning of this article – when one spouse is chronically ill, the chronic illness divorce rate is as high as 75%. So regardless of what chronic condition the chronically ill partner has, chronic pain is the main symptom, which often leads to divorce.
Married women diagnosed with a chronic illness are six times more likely to be divorced by their partners. Chronic illness divorce rate statistics show that 75 percent of marriages affected by chronic illness end in divorce.
Chronic conditions like endometriosis and fibromyalgia have an enormous impact on psychological, emotional, and mental states.
In my personal experience, I’ve seen chronic illness causing different kinds of anxiety disorders, including Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD for short), panic attacks, and depression, often leading to suicidal attempts.
The chronic illness divorce rate is higher than that of “healthy couples” because of the range of impacts pain has.
Pain is invisible, you cannot see it, however, your partner feels it. Even though she really wants to let things out, most of the time she won’t tell you that she’s in pain because she feels like a burden to you.
Saving marriage from divorce!
How on earth can you do that?
No one said that it was easy. Saving marriage from divorce s hard. The statistics are clear! Three in four couples end in divorce.
In order to do that, you need to take into account the following steps:
- Accept your partner’s feelings.
- Validate them.
- Shut down your overactive brain.
- Go for a retreat!
- Work on yourself…
- Reestablish connection.
- Make new rules.
- Observe what happens and learn.
By accepting your partner’s feelings, two of you will realize that you are both entitled to your own feelings. It’s crucial to accept your positions without trying to change them. Validate your partner’s feelings and perspective.
You need to shut down the “fight or flight” reaction. It’s important that you recognize this pattern and stop reacting. Your goal is to be the responsible, kind, loving person that your partner fell in love with, instead of the anxious and angry person in survival mode.
You need to let go. Take a step back and do your own thing. You must try to be calm and give your partner space. You must act in a way that will allow your spouse to miss you.
Use that time to work on yourself. If you are the one who cares for the ill, remember, you cannot fix someone else’s health, try instead to work on yourself. your behavior, your reactions, and your responses.
Connection and communication are the pillars of any relationship. Meet for a coffee and focus on positive, and happy interactions rather than on trying to work on the relationship straight away. Take your time, you have it!
Stop threatening divorce and make new rules instead. That applies to both of you. Then you simply have to put it into action, watch what happens, and learn from it.
What separates the boys from the men is being able to suck it up, roll your sleeves, and work on the problem instead of whining.
The chronic illness divorce rate is high because couples don’t work on their marriage.
When chronic illness invades your marriage, it may feel as if there was a third person in your relationship. But imagine having to deal with two chronic conditions or more…
My wife suffers from multimorbidity. She has endometriosis, fibromyalgia, general anxiety, OCD, and depression. That puts huge pressure not only on her but on me as her husband too. Sometimes it’s difficult to balance being a spouse and caregiver.
But if we manage to work things out, you can too!
Hi, I’m Lucjan! The reason why I decided to create this blog was my beautiful wife, who experienced a lot of pain in life, but also the lack of information about endometriosis and fibromyalgia for men…